I’ll Be the Judge of That

I’ve been thinking about judgements.

I’ve been called judgmental.

And it was not meant as a complement. Judgmental seems to be a word that has a built in negative connotation.

So after much soul-searching, prayer and meditation, I’ve decided: I am fine with that.

I am judgmental.

I get to be. It’s allowed.

For all of us.

We all get to decide what we like. What we think. What we believe.

We even get to change our minds when we like something else or learn something to make us think or believe differently. Make different judgements, as it were. Except about mushrooms. I will never change my mind about eating fungus.

Some people have judged me recently. Or they’ve probably been judging me for a long time and I just recently figured it out that their judgements were-shall we say- UNFAVORABLE.

Their judgements made me feel terrible. Guilty. Shamed. Less than. Confused. Rejected. Hurt.

So after soul searching, prayer and meditation (you get the drill), I have made another decision: they are wrong.

There are judgements people can make about me (will make, have made) that are spot on.  For example, calling me judgmental. Or calling me weird for how much I hate mushrooms. And I can hear those and accept them or learn and perhaps change (except about mushrooms).

But the ones that I’ve been struggling with most recently were really just off the mark.

So, thank you for your opinion, but, um, no. No.

A great line I read a few weeks ago goes like this:

What Others Think of Me is Not My Business

Love that.

So, just like me, these folks making their judgements are allowed.

And they are allowed to be wrong. I will allow them the dignity to make their mistakes.

That’s what I’ve decided. In my purely judgmental way, of course.