By this point, I know myself pretty well. I know, given a certain stimulus how I react. I believe we have… default settings. Kind of those built-in reactions.
I react to stress by eating. In extreme stress, I clean. But I don’t clean everything, I find some small thing that I obsess over. Recently, it was my car’s steering wheel. Those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are the best tool for that job.
I wish I reacted with a desire to exercise and meditate. But those are reactions I have to THINK about or often be TOLD to do. My natural response comes in the form of cookies and bleach wipes.
Given the name of this blog, you’d expect my reaction to include a martini. And I do enjoy a good dirty martini. But they are not my reaction to stress (thankfully, or I wouldn’t be able to see straight most days).
I also have a smart mouth and have little fear of using it. So silence is not my default setting.
Oh, and I’m a worrier. One of The Grandmas is such a worrier that we will actually give her something to worry about to keep her occupied. I so get this. I have actually worried because I am not worried. What am I missing? What did I forget?
But some of those default settings aren’t ideal and so I have to work to create new settings. And I have (or in the case of my smart mouth, modify).
But sometimes sensory-overload causes a default reaction.
And some other times, we can have a reaction that is so GOOD and RIGHT that it can leave us wondering, How is this possible? How did I come up with that answer? How did I come up with these feelings? This forgiveness? This peace? This belief it’s going to be okay? That despite what it all looks like, I don’t feel worried?
And, all I can say, it’s a God Thing.
I don’t speak Christianese.
Well, I speak it like I do Spanish. I understand more than I let on, but would rather not have to say anything in that language because it feels so weird in my mouth and sounds so awkward coming out.
Unlike Spanish, I have no desire to improve my Christianese.
But I do feel like some kind of explanation is in order. How did I stay so calm? How is it that with something pretty bad, I actually feel confident and peaceful? In fact, why am I not huddled in a ball, babbling and drooling?
It’s a God Thing.