Mommy Yoga

I recently visited some friends and Maxine made us margaritas. It had been a while since I’d had a margarita, but I think I can say this was the best margarita(s) I ever had. And she was out of salt even.Which of course means, tonight let’s have a round of Maxine’s Margaritas with salt.

I’m trying to get in shape and am not a gym person. So, I have a yoga dvd my neighbor loaned me. But as a mom of a 15 month old, I think I am going to start a different kind of yoga: Mommy Yoga.  This form of yoga will take the principles of contorting your body in a variety of poses, but will focus on building the muscles and skills also needed to manage an active toddler.

I’d Give Anything for a Ritz Bits Pose- With baby in rear facing car seat, crying for lunch while stuck in traffic you will find cracker remnants in purse and pass to baby while still in seat belt. Push toes into floor board, arch back and extend arms fully with crackers offered on fingertips. Breathe.

Toddler and Telephone Pose- This pose is for important phone calls where it is not conducive to have a toddler practicing his one-man band routine. Lay on back like roadkill, feet with soles toward ceiling. Place toddler on your feet and swing gently. Breathe.

Hot Yoga Pose- This is the pose where you are trying to remove something from the oven while your toddler is charging you like a bull on the roads in Spain. Crouch to oven height. Balance on one leg and extend other leg with foot flexing in mock puppet show to keep toddler simultaneously distracted and at bay. Open oven, remove food and rise. Breathe.

Cardio Yoga- This pose builds stamina and core muscles. Dress baby, yourself and be out the door with all necessary items (in one trip). Place baby in car seat, stroller in trunk and self in driver seat. Leave driveway. All within 20 minutes. Advanced practitioners may add a child or shorten time intervals. Breathe.

Downward Facing Where Did You Put the Remote Pose- This pose stretches a multitude of muscles as you contort to look under, inside and behind every object in the house in search of whatever item your toddler took and is now MIA. Breathe.

Patience Before I Lose It Pose- This pose looks very much like mountain pose with feet planted, palms touching in front. Head may be bowed or bent back as you seek a gift from Heaven Above for more patience than you possess. This pose is to be used when you have finished vacuuming and baby empties potted plant on floor. Or you are attempting Cardio Yoga Pose and baby undresses himself just prior to exit. Or you finally go to bed and cat brings you a live mouse. Strike Pose and repeat as necessary. Breathe.