Mother’s Day Bread Crumbs

I didn’t get it together to get this post done for Mother’s Day. But why let an arbitrary date stop me? And mother’s day in Costa Rica is in August so, really, I’m early.

I’ve talked about the deficits in the mothering I received from my mother. But I’ve also said how I picked up mothering I needed and wanted like bread crumbs. Or maybe like wildflower seeds that get scattered. I thought I’d share a few of those crumbs specifically:

Thank you to the step mom who told me to wear a slip under a dress, always.

And how to set the dinner table. And make radishes into roses.

Who had fun surprises and creative ways to handle the mundane. This is a woman who made housework a game.

This step mom gave me crumbs in the shape of grace, love, and decency.

Thank you to the neighbor who taught me to chew with my mouth closed.

Thank you to the Grandma who took me shopping when my clothes were too small.

Thank you to the other Grandma who taught me about wearing the right underwear.

Thank you to both Grandmas who thought reading books was a good thing. And bought them for me.

Honestly, the bread crumbs The Grandmas gave me would fill a bakery. They didn’t give me crumbs. They gave me whole loaves smeared with peanut butter and honey.

Thank you to the Aunt that let me wear her clothes- even the news ones.

Thank you to the teacher who said it wasn’t my fault.

Thank you to the teacher who said my Grandpa would be in heaven.

Thank you to the high school friend’s mom who danced in the kitchen.

Thank you to the boss who took me dress shopping.

Thank you to Oprah for giving me an hour of wisdom and wit every afternoon during high school (and beyond).

Thank you to the wise friend who asked me some hard questions about my dating choices.

Thank you to the wise friend who taught me “you know what you know”.

Thank you to the wise friend who taught me about boundaries.

Thank you to the mother-in-law who showed me how you can love unconditionally.

Some people seem to think I feel sad around Mother’s Day. I feel full. Because a big enough meal of crumbs can do that.