Or, maybe…

Or, maybe…it’s not a choice.

First a disclaimer: My mother chose her marriage over mothering with difficult consequences. And I chose my children over marriage. So, I hesitated in posting this because maybe that bias makes me unqualified?

But then I thought, maybe that bias makes me exactly qualified.

Why is love  competitive? Does this sign exist for dads? If women are choosing mothering over their marriage, the answer…well, I don’t know the answer, but the question is “Why?”

I had to choose mothering over my marriage. And I won’t answer the “Why?” here but the answer explains a lot. And it was devastating. And some days, it still is.

Am I so bitter by the end of my marriage, that  I can’t appreciate the relationship between a husband and wife? And how important it is? That nurturing and protecting that love is essential. No. I am not bitter. Nor am I dense. I am sad. I absolutely know what marriage should be. But knowing it and being capable of making it happen aren’t the same thing.

I know how to paint. My paintings? Uh, not so much.

Am I one of those moms so consumed by children there is no room for adult relationships? No. There is no room for a relationships that make me choose one or the other. There is no room for pithy signs that make think I have to.