(Re) Writing Your Story

January 2, 2013 069I’m clearly a fan of stories. I read them, write them, etc  I also tend to think of my life as a story.

When I left my first marriage, it was because I did not want my daughter’s story to be seeing her parents in a marriage like ours.

When I had decide to leave my job and go for an unknown duration and uncertain future in Costa Rica for several months- I finally made the decision because I wanted my story to be one of saying “yes” more than I said “no”. I’d rather be at the end of my life talking about the stupid thing I did by going to Costa Rica instead of “I wonder what that would have been like…”

When I came back from Costa Rica, I did not want my story to be I resettled in a place I didn’t particularly want to live. I wanted to live somewhere with natural beauty and a place that did as much as Costa Rica did to capture my interest and heart.

This year (2014), my story took a dramatic turn. Completely unexpected. Certainly not scripted by me. If it wasn’t my own life, I could almost admire the dramatic affect of it all.

And I have to say that adjusting to what my story will now be was a big part of my grief. Twice divorced…single mother…the ex… My dialogue would  include things like: “Your Dad’s house… It’s not my holiday this year…We need two, one for each of his houses.”

And like a novel or a TV show that takes a definite twist, I wondered, “How in the hell is THIS going to work out?”

Are you a fan of Boardwalk Empire? I haven’t got to watch Season 5 yet so don’t tell me anything. But remember when they killed off Jimmy in Season 2? I just wasn’t sure where that show was going to go.

10888684_10152560090726723_519832446758216242_n-2So now I am in a place of believing it WILL work out fine. Like the first time. Like the move to Costa Rica. And the move back. And plenty of other things. There are three reasons why I believe this:

1- Other people told me it would be okay. I guess this is like a friend who read the book before you and knows it has a good ending. Or maybe it’s like being in a bookclub and you’re all reading it together so you feel you can continue because we are all in this together. The support of others to get us past the wrenching plot twists of life is essential.

2- I saw the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and believe “It is all okay in the end and if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.” I don’t have a great definition of “okay” right now, but I know it’s not the end either.

3- Past experience. In my opinion, one of the only advantages to aging is experience. I have lived through other disasters. Remember that time I got promoted and then wanted my old job back a month later? Years later that very decision is what got me a great new job. Remember that guy who broke off our engagement and I thought I could never fall in love again? I did.

Now this blog is called Prayers and Cocktails so you may wonder where my faith in God came in to the picture. Well, he is not a reason I now believe my story will turn out okay. I believe he GAVE me the people, hope, and perspective to believe in a–yes, different– but still Happily Ever After ending.

In addition to telling you this for my own benefit and to fill up the empty blog spot here, I hope it helps. What’s your story about? What do you want it to be? Are you rewriting in 2015? If you’re comfortable, share a plot twist that you’ve seen through the other side.

I’m also open to hearing other reasons you have known you’d be okay when you were faced with a plot twist in life. Because, like I mentioned earlier, we’re all in this together.