The Reluctant Stay at Home Mother

While I do love a good martini, I do not recommend them for improving esteem.

I start a new day job Monday.

Except for a short year, I have been home with Little Sir since he was born.

It wasn’t supposed to be that way.

You see, I like to work. When Gorgeous Gal was born, I couldn’t wait to get back to work (I also had great family daycare and a part time job).

After Little Sir was born, I was going back to work when he was a few months old. But I got laid off.

It was a bad season for my industry and I had a number of “that never happens” things happen that kept me from working a salaried job again. Of course, staying home being a euphemism because we weren’t always at home.

I had a number of family things take me out of the area. I also had some family things that– had I been working– would have been next to impossible to deal with.

So, even though I didn’t plan it, I did not have a day job.

Then I got one and it wasn’t quite the fit for our family. I left the job to focus on family and writing until Little Sir started school.

Well, then my marriage ended so I started looking for a job again. People asked me what kind of job I wanted. I couldn’t really think of what I wanted in terms of specific titles or work.

  • I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to feel the work I did mattered.
  • I knew I wanted a stable schedule.
  • I’d prefer to stay in the area we’re living, but if God moved us, we’d be okay.
  • And I wanted to be in the public sector due to the retirement I’ve all ready been working towards for a decade plus.

Other than that, I was pretty well open. And guess what? I got it. It’s a great job that I think I am going to enjoy and will allow me to parent and write. It’s a bit of a departure, but one that is exactly right for Little Sir and I right now.

So my stay-at-home mothering is ending and I’m mulling it over. I would never picked it, but I am glad for this time. I’m glad I could be there for him as our world changed. I’m glad I could take him to music class and swim lessons and co op in preschool.

I’m glad I could go to The Grandmas when I needed to–not just as my schedule allowed. I’m glad for the days I could sing and cuddle and play.

I’m glad for the time I needed to orient to my new reality as I lose my title of “wife”.

It’s kind of amazing to me that I was a stay at home mother with Little Sir and a plan I had nothing to do with turned out to be exactly the one I needed.