Thanks, Bambi. I needed that.

So, sometimes things are really hard. Sometimes all the Bible verses and neat sayings and pithy prayers make me want to puke. Sometimes the worries and problems and hurts are just so big that Grandma’s advice and Christian sounds bites– well, BITE. And while I might reach out for God, it may not be for comfort or in confidence of his providence. It is most usually in panic and fear, “WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?”

And there are times where I don’t reach out for God at all.

So I had one of those times and I can tell you that I felt like I would never feel joy or appreciate beauty again. In that particular moment, everything was dark. And I stepped outside to look at the trees and the sky to breathe. And in that moment, a fawn leapt from the circle of madrone trees and bounded right across my sight line and back again.

He moved with what I could only think was just pure thrill at having those new spindly legs work so beautifully. He bounded around with the freedom of his mother signaling it was safe to flash his honey coat and white spots against a green field and blue sky. And in that moment, the darkness faded and I knew joy and beauty again. And I knew, while I had not reached for God, he had reached for me.