The Thing That’s Hard

Enjoy the view from here. Leave what's around the bend for later.

Today Little Sir especially wanted his dad to pick him up from daycare. It wasn’t his dad’s day to do this and they just had a visit yesterday, but it’s how Little Sir felt.

And he cried. Big heaving cries.

That’s the thing that’s hard about divorce with kids: you’re grieving twice. You have their pain and yours.

But the thing that is really hard?

There is no “thing”.

It is all hard.

Every single bit of this is hard. And once I get (supposedly) through with one part, there is simply another part.

That is also hard. And occasionally, something I thought I was done with comes back ’round.

There is nothing like a divorce to prove to you how terrible it is to get one.

I could say it’s the gift that keeps on giving, but it’s more like food poisoning.  You’ve puked all night, and yet, your stomach keeps heaving. There can’t be anything left, but there you are anyway.

Little Sir was fine after a PB&J sandwich and some quiet time and an “easy does it” kind of evening. He’ll have another visit in a few days.

And that’s how we do it.

We get through the hard parts. With some comfort, some peace, and some gentleness.

And we breathe again.

With more room in our lungs and yes, with relief too. Relief that part of the hard part is over and relief that we survived.