The Voices Inside

river_1We’ve all heard of our inner child and our inner critic. Most folks who believe in God hear his voice somehow too.

Though hear may not be the precise verb for these voices. For me it’s more a feeling. It’s words that aren’t voiced, but known.

It’s a “I don’t know, but I know” sort of thing.

I tend to doubt some of these voices quite a bit. I like proof. I like to feel the sky is blue and see, that yes, indeed it IS blue. But when I feel a voice say “bring an umbrella” and the sky is blue, I tend to clench up.

And usually it’s more serious than an umbrella. I feel something is wrong and yet folks tell me “no, everything is fine.”

So, I recently had a situation where everything inside was telling me “this is not working” and yet, on paper it made no sense that it wasn’t working. I had no proof it wasn’t working.

And I was struggling. I mean, the clench was so tight, I felt my insides were seizing. If your engine seizes on your car- it’s bad. Very.

I was talking to a friend and I said something like “I don’t know if this is my gut or something crazy.” And she said, “It’s your years of experience telling you what you’ve all ready learned.”

Ohhhhh– that is a voice I had not named. I have a blog category called “life lessons” but it had not connected that those lessons have a voice.

And one I plan to listen to. Because Oprah says if you don’t learn the lesson the first time, you keep getting it. And DEAR LORD there are some lessons I so very truly really do not need or want again.

So, I followed my friend’s counsel and listened to The Voice of Experience and got myself out of the situation that had me second guessing and clenching.

And as soon as I did, I felt better. Immediately.

That Experience– she’s loud and persistent. But she knows her place.

And now I do too.