I wanted to get a post in before the month is completely gone. I took a few weeks off… I was going to write the reasons why, but in keeping with the theme of this post: I’m not going to focus on the why. The why isn’t important.
Often, trying to figure out the why is only a way to delay and distract and confuse.
I find March confusing. Is it spring? Is it winter? Is Easter going to be this month or next? Why does it feel like such a long month? Why does the time change?
And much more severely, what the hell happened in Japan? I mean, we know what happened. But why? I don’t know why. I really don’t even know there is an answer for a why like that. My mind can’t take it in, the images and stories are only glimpses of what real people are really suffering. As the tv news moves on to more important things like Lindsay Lohan changing her name, the people in Japan are still grappling with literal and figurative after shocks. Oh, and there’s still that minor little matter of a NUCLEAR MELTDOWN. There are some who are staggered by events like those in Japan and blame God. I don’t blame God. When my mind reels with the trauma happening there, I do turn to him.
I wish there was an explanation, but how can there be? There is no explanation that would make the events there sensible. There is no story someone can give me that is going to make me say “Oh, I get it now. That makes sense. It’s okay now.” So, I have to let go of the why. I have to stop being distracted by my brain’s desire for an answer to the why and instead focus my attention on my heart’s desire for compassion and healing.
whadayathink? How do you cope with the unanswerable why’s in life?
Charise I have spent 8 years asking myself “why did my mom die”, etc. I have learned this weekend that I absorbed myself in that misery (sp?). The way’s I have tried to cope with the fact she died and the why’s, has been so un healthy. I made a decision on Friday which is further growing over the past few days to walk away from the why. Instead going to turn (my thoughts at the time) her living into a focus. What she gave me, my father, children and her grandchildren. And try to go forward as a better woman and heal myself over the pain. I guess I mean, set the pain free and take in the love she gave. Only then can I become a better person for my family and my friends and therefore my community and beyond.
Maybe I should start blogging.
Love Corinna
Being in the dating scene has made me confront this question frequently. Often I am naive because I try to treat people well and miss clues that others are not reciprocating–I just can’t imagine how someone could treat another so badly. When a relationship ends because of “bad behavior,” I do harp on “why.” “Why did this person do xyz? Why could they not have been honest?” And I spend time hoping that they will eventually tell me. But the truth is that sometimes we don’t know why, even about ourselves. I can know only as much of my own why as I want to investigate. I cannot, in a million years, figure out someone else’s.
Corinna;
I think this is what I meant by the why distracting or confusing us. Often we have to get away from that so we can deal with the feelings of what is- regardless of the why. Any answer to the why of your mom’s loss will not make you okay with it- you lost someone you loved so much. I’ll keep you in my prayers as you move along in your grief.
Marissa;
Oh the “why’s” of the dating world! The “why” of things can really trip us up in so many areas… That’s a good observation about being able to figure out our own why and leave alone others’.
I don’t really question why so much. I tend to stay in the moment. If I can do anything, I do it. If I cannot do anything, I trust that there is a reason why things have happened, and I try to stay open that it will be revealed to me in time.
I’ve often found meaning in dark chocolate, when all else fails.
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