I’ve been thinking about judgements.
I’ve been called judgmental.
And it was not meant as a complement. Judgmental seems to be a word that has a built in negative connotation.
So after much soul-searching, prayer and meditation, I’ve decided: I am fine with that.
I am judgmental.
I get to be. It’s allowed.
For all of us.
We all get to decide what we like. What we think. What we believe.
We even get to change our minds when we like something else or learn something to make us think or believe differently. Make different judgements, as it were. Except about mushrooms. I will never change my mind about eating fungus.
Some people have judged me recently. Or they’ve probably been judging me for a long time and I just recently figured it out that their judgements were-shall we say- UNFAVORABLE.
Their judgements made me feel terrible. Guilty. Shamed. Less than. Confused. Rejected. Hurt.
So after soul searching, prayer and meditation (you get the drill), I have made another decision: they are wrong.
There are judgements people can make about me (will make, have made) that are spot on. For example, calling me judgmental. Or calling me weird for how much I hate mushrooms. And I can hear those and accept them or learn and perhaps change (except about mushrooms).
But the ones that I’ve been struggling with most recently were really just off the mark.
So, thank you for your opinion, but, um, no. No.
A great line I read a few weeks ago goes like this:
What Others Think of Me is Not My Business
Love that.
So, just like me, these folks making their judgements are allowed.
And they are allowed to be wrong. I will allow them the dignity to make their mistakes.
That’s what I’ve decided. In my purely judgmental way, of course.
I think there’s a huge and fundamental difference between judging people and discerning what is good, bad, likable, or detestable in other areas. The latter is essential to a wise life. The former is, really and truly, forbidden by Christ (Luke 6:37). It is NOT okay for anyone to judge anyone else in terms of their essence. We can discern that their actions are right or wrong, but we don’t know what struggles and motivations lie behind those actions, so we can’t judge the people themselves. Only God can do that.
You’re absolutely right. I would also say the “flip” is reverse that we should not take other people’s judgements of us (even “just” our good, bad, likable or detestable actions) to our essence– therefore, judging ourselves. And as with so much, just because we’re not supposed to does not mean we don’t. Love your comment!
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