It’s Not Your Parents’ Fault

So, clearly, all my problems are because of my parents. Something they did or didn’t do. Or lots of things they did or didn’t do. And the people that give me problems nowadays? Well, they say it’s their parents’ fault too.

That worked out until I became a mother and learned that everyone does the best they have with what they have at the time.

I heard that line before I was ready to believe it. Before I realized I was bound to warp my own kids one way or another. So, true or not, I need to believe we are all doing the best we can.

Or, rather, I need my kids to believe it.

But I have recently made a discovery.

It was not my parents’ fault.

It was the TV shows’.

It’s Christmas time and Little Sir is way into it this year so I couldn’t wait to introduce my favorite annual show, The Year Without a Santa Claus.  And as I sat with him, I saw through my adult eyes how troubling these shows are and how easily they could trigger a whole host of lifelong issues.

The Year Without a Santa Claus

I don’t have all these problems this seemingly innocent show could induce, but I’m not dead yet (and I’m still watching it) so there’s time…

Relationship Trouble- Mrs. Santa Claus with that sweet voice and lovely hair-do and yet she works with a mix of passive aggressiveness and outright deception to manipulate Santa.  And Santa is not much better talking to himself when what he needs to do is have a good heart-to-heart with his wife. And, another thing, with all those elves, why is she doing her own ironing? There’s a long off-season for this couple and lots of peace and quiet at the North Pole for them to work on these things.

Substance Abuse- I don’t want to make any outright accusations here, but there a lot of weird eyeballs and swollen red noses in these characters. Santa might be faking that cold to cover his hangover and it may be more than hot tea in that mug.

Family Dysfunction- There are big unspoken things happening in that Mother Nature-Miser Brother family. At one point, Snow Miser refers to Heat Miser as a step brother but nowhere else in the show is this mentioned and both brothers call Mother Nature “Mother Dear” with creepy subservience that could only be induced with one too many lightening bolts to the arse. And Mother Nature herself should be watched carefully as she calls the boys “nasty” and then “lovely” just a few breaths apart (after another lightening bolt episode).  This kind of mixed messages of love and pain has been known to induce psychosis. But that Heat Miser has the best hair and who can’t love their song and dance numbers? Which proves that crazy families are the most entertaining.

And that’s just one show!  Don’t even get me started on Nestor the Long Eared Donkey. I had not seen this one as a child. Or perhaps I blocked it from memory in one of those defense mechanisms the brain has to reduce trauma. It was on the DVD I bought along with Santa and Rudolph’s Shiny New Year, which has a very twisted “anti” bullying message to enjoy others laughing at your expense.

How we survived, I have no idea.

So, you might think I’m not going to let Little Sir watch these shows.

Just the opposite! Because if he didn’t have these shows to warp his childhood, then it might be my fault.