I know this woman named Angelica. And she is some kind of earthly saint. I mean, she is one of those people that I just like to watch so I can learn more about how I want to be.
Her way of being in the world is that good. But she’s not so perfect that I find her irritating.
She has the ability to be completely relatable and funny and smart and yet so good that you find yourself asking, “How would Angelica do this?”
And the fact that her name is ANGELica is just one of those funny things that happen.
Like the inventor of the toilet’s last name is Crapper.
My church rector’s last name is Blessing. Seriously.
So Angelica and I were talking recently and she said, “I’m going to tell you what I find adorable about myself. I mean, I have plenty I don’t like about myself and things I like a lot. But really truly ADORABLE ABOUT MYSELF.”
And we had to pause there because we laughed.
I laughed with a mix of awe and joy.
WHO SAYS THAT?! WHO EVEN THINKS THAT?!
I mean, is this a thing? Did I miss a class in high school on the day we learned we were supposed to even KNOW- much less express- what we find (not likable, not decent) ADORABLE about OURSELVES?
I can tell you what I adore about certain family members. My close friends.
My friend Jef is a relentless optimist. Relentless, I tell you. Katherine is so patient and encouraging. I could confess murder and she’d find a way to say the other person had it coming. About my children? Audra is so driven and organized. But it’s more than that. It’s in this way that is truly adorable because it’s with this attitude that the world will respond to her drive and will to keep it in its place, and I love that swagger. Austin is both all boy with his leaps from the couch to the arm chairs and desire to dig in the mud and all gooey love with his worry for the cat and attachment to his stuffed giraffe. He is my Gentleman Sweetheart. How much so? He loves it when I call him that.
And the joy part of my reaction to Angelica:
HOW FLIPPIN’ GREAT IS THAT?!
I love that Angelica not only could come up with an adorable trait, but I love it even more that she would share it.
It was…well, I’m sorry to be so obvious, but it was pretty adorable of her.
What was it?
She adores that she can find something to love in whatever is placed in front of her. Whatever curve ball gets thrown, she finds something to love about it. She is now facing an unwelcome commute. She immediately was able to think about the upside (solitude in the drive time, good restaurants nearby, new colleagues…).
I let her know that is pretty adorable. And rare.
It got me wondering, what do I find adorable about myself?
And it’s not with false modesty that I tell you: I don’t know.
I have things I like or are pretty good, but adorable? Hm.
Let me get back to you. (I’ll put it in the comments when I figure it out.)
What about you? What do you find adorable about yourself?
Hmm. That is a tough one. What you adore in me (thank you!!) is something I find good in myself, but not adorable. If there is anything I find adorable, it might be my ability (on a good day, when I’m not depressed or in pain—rare lately) to throw myself into things with childlike wonder and enthusiasm, or to make a total idiot of myself in a good cause. Like the time Elizabeth and I sang Christmas carols, not quietly, while we did our shopping at Costco. Or when I was the first to volunteer for an improvised skit at a workshop and was awarded the “Oscar” of the day for my performance. (This, by the way, is also one of the things I adore about Elizabeth, who has the quality in much greater measure than I do. But she got it from me!)
What I find adorable in YOU is your humor, your compassion, sensitivity for others and eagerness to help people, your frankness, and your courage.
Thank you! I’ve decided what I find adorable about myself is my ability to find or make the fun in the mundane or inconvenient. I was leading a field trip once and the bus broke down. I kept the kid entertained with games I made up on the spot- I only had a walnut and a pumpkin! When we had to go to the laundromat, we’d make an evening of it with take out… As a blended family, we had a hard time celebrating special days so I made up new traditions that fit our schedule. I’m not a Pollyanna by any stretch of the imagination, but I think it’s pretty “adorable” how I can make a silk purse out of the sow’s ear.