Or, maybe…it’s not a choice.
First a disclaimer: My mother chose her marriage over mothering with difficult consequences. And I chose my children over marriage. So, I hesitated in posting this because maybe that bias makes me unqualified?
But then I thought, maybe that bias makes me exactly qualified.
Why is love competitive? Does this sign exist for dads? If women are choosing mothering over their marriage, the answer…well, I don’t know the answer, but the question is “Why?”
I had to choose mothering over my marriage. And I won’t answer the “Why?” here but the answer explains a lot. And it was devastating. And some days, it still is.
Am I so bitter by the end of my marriage, that I can’t appreciate the relationship between a husband and wife? And how important it is? That nurturing and protecting that love is essential. No. I am not bitter. Nor am I dense. I am sad. I absolutely know what marriage should be. But knowing it and being capable of making it happen aren’t the same thing.
I know how to paint. My paintings? Uh, not so much.
Am I one of those moms so consumed by children there is no room for adult relationships? No. There is no room for a relationships that make me choose one or the other. There is no room for pithy signs that make think I have to.
Your last paragraph is exactly what I was thinking during the time I was reading your post. I do however believe that if there are two parents of the same children in the home that the children should know that the parents are “united” (not sure if that is the right word) most of the time, but that is a different post.