Step away from the Chardonnay and Get Some Sleep!

I’m sleep deprived and on my second glass of cheap chardonnay so it’s time for stupid observations (and very soon some sleep).

Is it just me? When did going to the bathroom become so difficult that we needed machines to help us do the job? Not that I am not amazed and even amused by the automatic-ness of a pretty basic deed, but really? Was pushing the handle to flush that hard? And is it just me or does that sound of the automatic flush sound like a camera? Turning the handle for a paper towel was just the straw that broke the wet camel’s back?

I can appreciate ingenuity, but there are things I find much harder. I’d like an invention that kept me from saying things I shouldn’t have said. Like the time I was trying to be funny but instead was hurtful and probably even offensive. I’d like an invention that would allow me to know when other people are not saying things they should. Like when I call my Grandma and she says everything is “fine”. I’d like an invention that amplified God’s whispers when I’m about to turn down a fork in the road of life that will mean a lesson more painful than I really feel up for.

On the more practical side, I’d like an invention that would allow my white german shepherd and my maroon area rug to coexist. Or an invention that made me repulsed by too much chocolate. I’d happily flush manually and crank out paper towels till I sweat for that invention.