Years ago, my friend Linda O. and I were gabbing about life and the various goings ons in our lives. Mostly to do with men. We were both single and had some good stories to tell of lingering ex’s, those we hoped would be something more and those we hoped for but knew we shouldn’t…you know, girl talk.
I’m sure I was having an amaretto sour and she was probably having iced tea. As we traded our stories, we marveled at how many times something we thought or suspected in a person’s behavior or motives turned out to be true. And we would say in chorus, “You Know What You Know.”
I don’t want to overstate this statement- some things you can’t know. But in this post, I’m talking about the things that you do know, but doubt. Or push aside. And then they come back and yep, you were right.
I had an experience like that this week. In the moment my previous supposition was confirmed, I was shocked and angry. But later, as I reflected on what I thought was new information– I realized it was not new.
I knew it all along. I first knew it as a whisper, then in full voice and this week as loud as an air raid siren.
And I know it now and I can’t allow myself to be persuaded back to denial. It ain’t just a river in Egypt folks! Oh, that joke never gets old.
Not only do I know what I know. But I need to know that. I need to remember that I do know stuff. That I can trust myself. That I can trust those hard earned life lessons of years gone by and rely on that knowledge for the years yet to come.
I know what you mean! The first time I spoke with a certain person who turned out to be a HUGE disappointment in a family member’s life, I hated his voice and wondered at his choice of words. But I pushed my doubts aside. Later, boy did I wish I’d listened to those qualms.
We know what we know, but sometimes we also know what we know is NOT what we want to hear, so we blow it off until we can’t deny it any longer. I don’t really care for those life moments, but I know they’re necessary for growth.