Here we go, Ready or Not.

I don’t really have a post. I have ideas for posts but not much of anything today. I’ve been sick and it was recently Christmas…Hopefully, you know how it can be and understand.

There can be a “thing” with blogging where the reader (or God forbid, the writer) thinks the blogger is somehow speaking from a perspective of “done”. Of “learned”. Of ahead of the rest of us on the journey and let me you show you the way…

I really hope that is not what comes across here. I am very much on the journey and feel behind most of the time. If not totally lost. But, occasionally, I look up, recognize a land mark or two and keep going. Figuring I’ll get there eventually or at least find a place to stop for some ice cream.

One of things I am doing this last week of 2012 is really digging into all that has happened this year. I’ve been cagey but here it is: my marriage ended. And when I type “marriage” like that it seems like it is only one thing. A marriage. Singular. But a marriage is not singular. And it not just about two people either. It is children and in laws and memories and houses and traditions and a history and a future that all feels whacked. I don’t mean whacked like “out of sorts”, I mean like whacked upside the head. Reeling.

So I’m taking a lot of time now to prepare for a new year. That in so many ways is going to be a new life. One I didn’t ask for to be sure, but is mine nonetheless. And I am determined to make it great. Okay, good. Or count. Well, I’m determined to try.

I’m praying and meditating. My definition of those words is from my cousin. My cousin KC died this year. He had a rough life and never seemed to be able to find his way back from it. But God knows he tried.

He said praying is asking God the question. Meditating is listening for the answer.

I know 2013 will bring questions. And  answers too.

Just like 2012. They may not be answers I liked. But they were true. And as I used to tell Gorgeous Girl and am sure will also tell Little Sir someday, “I’d rather hear a hard truth than no truth.”

So I wish us questions, answers and truth for the new year. I wish us great, good tries.

Because we all count.

Happy New Year.