Small Thanks

January 2, 2013 069Thanksgiving is today. Little Sir and I are traveling over the hills and through the woods…

I am thankful and can name a good solid list.

But I am also sad and hurt that I am single this year. That the miracle of last year is no more. I think it’s okay. This all just happened in September. And I don’t think I really believed it till mostly through October. It’s not like I’m wallowing. The thing is when you go through a loss like this- it effects every bit of life. So, in one area, I am doing pretty okay. And then something else comes up and I feel the wallop all over again.

Little Sir doesn’t understand why his Dad isn’t coming with us for the trip. The recipe I’ll use for the cranberry sauce is one my husband taught me. It’s the small things.

It’s also the small thinCranberriesgs that get me through it. Little Sir crawling in my lap. The way the sun pours through the evergreens in my yard. The snickerdoodle creamer in my coffee.

My thankfulness this year is smaller than last. It just is. It doesn’t mean I am not grateful. It doesn’t mean I am not appreciative. It just means, it is different this year and I am doing the best I can.

And when the heartbreak feels too big, I will look for something small. I will let the small bloom till it fills the broken places.